All I Do Is Try, Try, Try

I think BOB DYLAN once said, “My drive is my drive.”

I can’t compare my success or productivity to his, but I relate to the sentiment.

When it comes to running, it's not a question if I have to do it, or if I want to. I just run.

Very often, it’s fun. Sometimes it sucks. On occasion, I’m competitive. Other times, I just go out to come back.

My commitment is a ceaseless constant, like the universe expanding endlessly from a point in space and time we can’t entirely explain

I’m lucky to spend all this time moving and improving. Though it sometimes comes at a cost, I’ve never felt like I've sacrificed anything to get to where I am, even when I've failed.

"Sacrifice" is a word that often comes up when athletes talk about their past and their path to success. To me, it is not sacrifices they're talking about, but priorities. They've wanted to get to a place and have done what’s necessary to get them there. If, for example, skipping a party felt like a sacrifice, maybe they should instead have said, “I didn’t want to be a professional athlete, yet here I am.”

I’d be lying if I didn’t admit I’ve been achingly curious about where full-time running could take me — geographically, spiritually, competitively — and what I could do with the time it’d free up in-between my workouts and long runs.

In 2025, I think I owe it to myself to spend less time lost in thought about what could be and more time turning those thoughts into something real. I hoped, and still do, that this blog can be that. It doesn’t have to be read. (It probably isn’t). It doesn’t have to be “good,” either. It has to be another activity I do because I do it, and that’ll have to be enough.

All this makes me think we've lost the plot with a lot of the arts. When someone says they write, sing, dance, play chess, or run, whatever, you often hear it followed by the question, “But are you any good at it?”

Enough in our lives revolve around productivity, results, or monetary gain.

That said, here’s my race schedule for 2025:

(That’s a joke.)

But not really, because I do plan on being on several start lines this year. What’s different in 2025 is that I’m most excited about the months and weeks between the races. After all, even in ultrarunning, the time in between is what we’ve got the most of.

In the spirit of this mindset, I don't have goals this year, but I pledge a commitment to trying. I want to try to write and post more frequently. I want to try to run further and spend more time on the trails. I want to try to run faster where I’ve been before but also notice new things about the places I’ve already seen.

And if I don’t? Well, here’s to a year trying.